How to Talk to Kids About Becoming Individuals Without Interference with Julie Lythcott-Haims

Get More Info About Dr. Robyn Here: http://www.DrRobynSilverman.comHow to Talk to Kids About Becoming Individuals Without Interference with Julie Lythcott-Haims When I asked my next guest to come back on the show and I wanted to know what she’d like to discuss this time because she has such interesting perspective and a way with words—and she said, she’d like to talk about how “kids don’t thrive when they’re raised like dogs on a leash who have to go a certain way to please their owner (parent).” You see my next guest did this amazing, extremely popular Ted Talk in 2016 entitled “How to Raise Successful Kids- without Over-Parenting” which has just about 7, 500, 000 views now. And in it she talks about how mapping out our children’s every move, check-listing their childhood so that they get into the right colleges and get the right jobs doesn’t actually make a successful, fulfilled person unless success is only moving up a preconceived and narrow ladder that may not actually feel like success for your child. How can we, as parents, drop the rope—or the leash—that is keeping our children from their passions, from their individuality, from their destiny—and how can we talk to our children about embracing who they are, learning who they want to be and willingly taking the steps to forge their own path? For that, we are turning to Julie Lythcott-Haims. Special Guest: Julie Lythcott-Haims When I asked my next guest to come back on the show and I wanted to know what she’d like to discuss this time because she has such interesting perspective and a way with words—and she said, she’d like to talk about how “kids don’t thrive when they’re raised like dogs on a leash who have to go a certain way to please their owner (parent).” You see my next guest did this amazing, extremely popular Ted Talk in 2016 entitled “How to Raise Successful Kids- without Over-Parenting” which has just about 7, 500, 000 views now. And in it she talks about how mapping out our children’s every move, check-listing their childhood so that they get into the right colleges and get the right jobs doesn’t actually make a successful, fulfilled person unless success is only moving up a preconceived and narrow ladder that may not actually feel like success for your child. How can we, as parents, drop the rope—or the leash—that is keeping our children from their passions, from their individuality, from their destiny—and how can we talk to our children about embracing who they are, learning who they want to be and willingly taking the steps to forge their own path? For that, we are turning to Julie Lythcott-Haims. Julie Lythcott-Haims believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. Her work encompasses writing, speaking, public service, and activism. She is a New York Times bestselling author of books on human development, a TED speaker, a former Stanford dean, and a lawyer, and she holds a BA from Stanford University, a JD from Harvard Law, and an MFA from California College of the Arts. She serves on numerous nonprofit boards whose work focuses on equity, education, youth, wellness, or the arts. Julie lives in Palo Alto, California with her partner of over thirty years, their itinerant young adults, and her mother. She is a member of the Palo Alto City Council. Her latest book is a follow up to How to Raise an Adult, which was the topic of our last podcast episode together, and it’s called Your Turn: How to Be an Adult. Important Messages: How can I help you grow stronger and more confident around the notion that this is your life, your one wild and precious life, quoting the late poet Mary Oliver? It is yours, not theirs. It is therefore on you to craft and shape and you are going to screw up. And that’s fine. You’re going to figure yourself out over time. That is what it means to live and I am rooting for you to do it. I’m a parent, just like everyone listening, we parents know a lot. We have good instincts, we have hopes and dreams and for our kids, we’re trying to do right by them. I want you to know as I’m about to give this advice that I am a parent who needed this advice. Being a dean, writing a book on the subject. I thought I understood what other people were doing wrong. And then I very humbly came to appreciate, oh, I’m doing it. I’m cutting my 10 year old’s meat. That was when I, oh God, yes, I was that parent, right? That I couldn’t be able to let go of an 18 year old at the college level or whatever he was going to do after high school if I’m cutting the meat of a 10 year old. There are so many life skills that have to be taught and learned and perfected, and eight years from 10 to 18 is not enough time. You got to get in the passenger seat and let them drive. Okay? You’re still there for the just in case moment. So they don’t drive off a cliff, but like, it’s their life. “My child is on the soccer team” “Not we” are on the soccer team. You feel you have to check those data and square them

from Dr. Robyn Silverman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wTaQfAV1pw