How to Talk to Kids about Being Self-Driven, Self-Motivated & Self-Controlled with Dr

Get More Info About Dr. Robyn Here: http://www.DrRobynSilverman.comHow to Talk to Kids about Being Self-Driven, Self-Motivated &Self-Controlled This podcast will focus on the science and sense of giving your kids more control over their lives. What can we do and say to help show our kids that we believe in them, trust them and feel confident about them making key decisions in their lives about what they need and want for themselves. When we take over, we weaken them and say “don’t trust yourself- trust me instead.” When we externally motivate and incentivize, we don’t allow them to look within themselves and find what intrinsically motivates them. If we want our children to be “self-driven,” we need to allow them to make decisions, make mistakes, learn from them and apply their new knowledge to the next set of decisions. In an interview with Dr. William Stixrud, best-selling co-author of The Self-Driven Child, we learn that this sense of control, while feeling supported by key adults, will benefit our children in all areas of their lives. Special guest: Dr. William Stixrud Are we raising an anxious generation? Many would agree that we are. The causes of the uptick in anxiety among children has startedto be discussed—even within our podcast- we have talked with Jessica Lahey and our obsession with grades and our focus on avoiding failure at all costs. We have talked with Julie Lythcott Haims about the bubble-wrapping of our children that leaves them unprepared for a life that we deliver them to at the age of 18—a life in which they don’t have the skills, yes, but also where they don’t have the resilience or the confidence to take it on. In The Self-Driven Child , authors William Stixrud and Ned Johnson continue this conversation—focusing specifically on the ways that children today are being denied a sense of controlling their own lives—doing what they find meaningful, and succeeding or failing on their own, and on their own terms. While screen time and technology certainly are part of the problem, the real issues lie with us—the parents and the teachers—who have their hearts in the right place but are nevertheless, taking the opportunities away from children that would allow them to grow stronger, more confident, more autonomous, more competent– and more themselves.  William R. Stixrud, Ph.D., is a clinical neuropsychologist, frequent lecturer, presenter, author and founder of The Stixrud Group. He is a member of the teaching faculty at Children’s National Medical Center and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. Additionally, Dr. Stixrud is the author, with Ned Johnson, of the nationally bestselling book, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. You will also see him featured for his expertise in publications such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Times of London, The Wall Street Journal, U.S. News and World Report, Time Magazine, Scientific American, Business Week, Barron’s, and, New York Magazine. And—fun fact- Dr. Stixrud also happens to be a musician who plays in a band! The podcast provides: Why kids need to have a sense of control over their lives What self-control has to do with stress and why it’s such a big deal for kids Some ways that parents, teachers, admin, coaches and other adults who work with kids can get out of their own way and help to foster a healthy sense of control in kids Key ways to help kids find their own internal motivation General principles for communicating with kids in a way that nurtures a sense of autonomy or agency An example of what it SOUNDS like to communicate with kids in a way that nurtures autonomy. How a “consultant model” can work both for a parent and a coach or teacher in the life of a child What it sounds like to be a consultant in a child’s life rather than an enforcer or a rescuer who is taking over a child’s self-control? How this consultant model applies to kids with ADHD or learning disabilities—and what do parents need to know? How to talk with kids about mistakes and failure when we are urging them to take a larger role in the decision making in their lives—and what we do/say when they do mess up Important Messages: Stress has profound effects on the brain especially developing brains. Sonya Lupien, Neuroscientist in Montreal, summarizes the 4 things that make life stressful- acronym NUTS: Novelty, Unpredictability, Perceived Threat, Low Sense of Control. Sense of Control- most stressful if “something is happening but there is nothing I can do about it.” Dramatic increase of stress in recent years. How do kids get self-motivated? Sense of control. Need to find the healthy medium between excessively driven and what’s the point in trying? Look at research on sense of control: Live longer, healthier physically, cognitively, mental health, perform better, do better academically. Rese

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